Mental Poop

Wednesday, July 31, 2002
This is cute: monkey's romantic valentine's day poetry.

Oh, and to me, it's still Tuesday - I haven't gone to sleep yet.

You know, I've been in a funk for a goodly portion of today. I think I was completely nice to my niece Katelyn and the nice girl at the deli. Everyone else? They got the snippy (thanks, Kristin) version of me.

I dunno why. I'd like to blame the lack of cake.

Well, no.

Anyway, I just remembered how hot Tobey Maguire was in the Spider-Man suit, and I got all happy. That, added to a comprehensive WinAmp playlist, is working to at least make me have a happy veneer, if not a happy, sweet inner core of sugary goodness.

Mmmm, sugary goodness.

Tuesday, July 30, 2002
What a way to go.

There's a Magical Adventures in Space sticker here, as well as a recipe for sorbet. Yay!

Yeah, I didn't post yesterday.

Well, for one thing, I took a nice long nap at my sister's. It was sweet.

Goddammit! I am lost for words. More on this later, kids.

I might take a nap. Mmmm, nap.

Oh, and your new phrase? Ass trolls.

Friday, July 26, 2002
I'm going to be gone for the next couple of days. Pray I can survive without a computer. Pray.

Goddammit, people, read WIGU [comic series] already! Why are you NOT reading this? There are no good answers to that, unless the answer is, "I have no eyes.". Then it is ok to not view Wigu.

Otherwise, you are WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

Beckett's was fun, although there was a little less dancing. Then again, I got some random guy to dance Haymakers, and since everyone was sucking tonight, it was ok for him. I hope he had a good time; I think he did. Nice guy, at the very least.

Oh, and Stuart Little 2 was ok. It's nice to see Hugh Laurie getting work, even if it is as playing an American.

Thursday, July 25, 2002
Fudtz Sign Language - what the fuck?

Wednesday, July 24, 2002
Tom Selleck, as Magnum P.I., is really kinda cute. Sadly, he's also vaguely reminiscent of my dad - both had thick dark facial hair, wore short shorts, and were in shape.

Ok, that's a weird incestuous little thing.


~Warning: LJesque crap ahead~

A bit ago, I did something that I'm still feeling bad about - I stopped going out with a guy I'd been seeing for near 3 years. It was something I had to do. He is a wonderful guy, and was so kind and caring that it still boggles my mind (especially since we both agreed he'd been a bit of a jackass when we'd first met) (yes, that's meant with humor). I loved him then, and I still do. I only wish I hadn't hurt him in this way; he doesn't deserve it.

Why tell you, the reading audience, of this? Well, because it's related to a lot of things. For one, I'm not good with that whole "trust" thing. Yeah, yeah, lots of people aren't. However, I know people who ask me, "Don't you trust me?" with a sincerity and expectation that of course I would. But I don't. It's nothing personal, honestly. I don't trust anybody. It's a thing.

It also confuses me that people could like me so much as some claim to. I don't get it. It's not like I was abused as a kid or anything. No one died. There's no history for it, so far as I recall.

Yeah, boo hoo, cry for me Argentina.

This group of friends I've gotten into now, they've been indirectly helping with all this. I often don't share well, or I'm difficult to read, so it's good when they tell me this, and draw it out of me. I'm a different person for having been away from home and back, and somehow, they're fitting in with it. I think you were right about some of it, Geoff. You deserve the best ever created.

It's a whole new world out there, kids, and we'll be lucky to get through it with some semblence of sanity. :)

Time to shower.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
I was going to say something, but I forgot.

Oh yeah.

I've decided that while the set dances are lots of fun (especially when pulled through them by good dancers who show me where to go), I like the waltzes better. Especially when the guy is great. Tee hee!


I'm tired. I'm going to go to bed.

Monday, July 22, 2002
DAMMIT! I have to leave soon for The Plough, and they have to go and put on a really good Law&Order.

Fuck, but I love this show.

Ok, so I was reading Fametracker's Fame Audits when WinAmp played Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. This song was featured in K-19, and has reminded me of one thing I really admired in the movie.

There are several scenes in which music is used to enhance the mood, and in an incredibly skillful way. Moonlight Sonata is one of them; another is some soprano chick singing a lovely aria while... well, I can't tell you, but it involves rubber things.

No, not those rubber things.

Anyway, when the movie took time out from crashing Mussorgksy-esque scoring to get a little slower, it was beautiful. Those moments of visual and aural poetry were thoroughly enjoyable, and I might see the damn movie one more time just to see those few moments.

Oh, and a couple of the guys were hot. Did I mention that? is truly amusing. Please to read it, thank you.

K-19: The Widowmaker is an odd movie. I'm not sure whether I liked it or not.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't the Slippery Nipple talking when I bust out laughing both during the ad for xXx and when Harrison Ford walked onscreen. No, it's just funny, him being a Russian. Come on, the bastard played Jack Ryan (albeit not as well as Alec "I'm a Hairy Man" Baldwin). At least we got to see Liam Neeson in a tank top again. Doo-oooOOoooo.

Oh, and for chrissakes, if the reactor's going to do bad things, and there's very little you can do for it, VENT IT WITH SEAWATER. It'll fuck your engine over like nobody's business, but at least you won't POISON EVERYONE WITH RADIATION.

Then again, the movie is based on real events, so maybe all the character inconsistencies and such are true. I don't know, I wasn't there, and I'm sure as hell glad I wasn't.

Oh, and like, at least two guys from Red October were there - Joss Ackland and whoever played the radio guy on K-19.

One last thing - how come it was called K-19, but the numbers on the side weren't anything to do with 19?

Still, see the movie, if for no other reason than to see a lot of mooning bottoms.


Sunday, July 21, 2002
So, I have to decide, fast - what to see?

K19 (whitey being Russian), Minority Report (Cruise gets a Spielberg hard-on), Reign of Fire ("Do not see this movie, for it doth suck" - Geoff), Road to Perdition (only reason to see it - Jude Law), or Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course (Ain't she a beaut!).


If you want to make me happy, just totally randomly, get a Semifreddi's sour baguette and some Alouette garlic et herbe spread. Seriously. My sister and mom did that, and holy crap but I am happy. Happyhappyhappy.

Crab puffs, ice cream cakes, and scalloped potatoes work just as nicely.

Saturday, July 20, 2002
I have Hungarian money, thanks to mi papa.

2400 whatevers worth.

It's, like, $10 US.

Friday, July 19, 2002
Monkey of posted a recipe for chocolate martinis on the Wigu message boards.


Creme de cocoa (cacao?)

drop or two of other flavors (unnamed)

All in a frosted glass ringed with cocoa dust, and a chocolate chip or mini truffle at the bottom as a treat.

I love that little terrycloth monkey.

Lorenzo Lamas wasn't very cute. Sorry.

Thursday, July 18, 2002
My car is in the shop. The starter's been being weird; sometimes nothing happens, and I have to try again. So far, no strandings, but still, I'd rather not be stuck in the middle of some random place at 2am and have a non-starting car. So, hopefully it'll be a quick and cheap fix.

I miss my car anyway.

Beckett's is tonight; I hope that if Jennifer goes, cute Irish guy will be there. Jennifer happy is a good thing!

I love Law&Order. I cannot stress this enough. I love Sam Waterston, and Angie Harmon plays off of him well, and she's fun. She also has a great makeup person. Da-amn.

And hey, ADA McCoy rides a motorcycle. Not too shabby.

Body image is something that's been sort of a topic for conversation for a while.

I'd like to blame both pop culture/the media and every single goddamned human being for the disparity between real and ideal, and the crap that goes on in response to that.

I like my big-toes, elbows, hands, eyes, and brows the best, if you can like bits best and want to know.

One thing that is neat about people is that lots of people like different things about others. Some people like the big boobs, some people like the broad shoulders. Some like larger people, some like smaller people. It's kinda cool.

That being said, I still dislike people. Especially ones that get in my way.

Wednesday, July 17, 2002
I don't think my computer likes TheSpark, as it keeps freezing, sorta.

No one is commenting. You all suck.

No, no you don't.

Why do Hostess Cupcakes taste so damn good? I do not understand this. They are cousins to Snoballs, fer chrissake.

I wonder how Jon from high school is doing. I had a dream with him in it a couple of days ago - in it he said that he was keeping his homosexuality a secret still, or something to that effect. Only he didn't look like himself. So, Jon, if you're out there, gimme a holla or something. I promise not to make fun of your sister's old car.

Last night was fun. I've never really had fondue before, and it was pretty durn tasty.

I have a mug full of Vanilla Coke (very tasty, but it'll kill you if you can't take carbonation, duh), and the spray has gone over the rim and has made my desk sticky.

I just saw The Cider House Rules, and again, I must say that I love Tobey Maguire. Awwwww. Pardon me while I have a stupid grin on my face.

Thanks again, Noah.

Tuesday, July 16, 2002
Jennifer, this is that cute actor's site: Jamie Bamber, this is your website

Ok, more time for the "deep 'feelings' post". I swear, this is not a regular feature. I hate this kind of stuff. So yeah.

As I was saying - I'm not used to the whole flirting-with-something-behind-it thing. Flirting, yes. That's easy. I guess I'm just embarassed easily; I'm not used to being called a cute girl and having someone actually mean it in a serious fashion.

Ok, now you are saying, 'Sure, right, KJB, what-ever. Stop complaining.' Well, you have a point. I'd probably say the same thing to someone else in my shoes. Then again, I might not. I don't know.

I am not used to being seriously hit on by people. There.

This does not mean stop, any of you who are paying attention. There is no denying the pleasure derived from being the subject of such attention.

While I may say people suck, and I don't like them, that's not entirely true. It's a seesaw effect; I hate people, but I also love them. Go fig.

Dammit, I'm not really tired, but I ought to get to bed. Stupid thing.

Jon in MEA: I swear to whatever deity exists, if you don't have a good excuse for not coming online and/or emailing me, I will groin you the next chance I get.

Monday, July 15, 2002
I've decided it's probably a good thing I didn't join Jennifer and Rachel's little dance. For several reasons.

Warning: LJesque inner searchings. Or something.:

Through high school, I was kind of a geek. Ok, I was a geek. Brainy, hung out with the geeks, all that. Everyone knew me, granted, but it's not the same as, like, "popular etc".

College was kinda the same, except (at least, in SD) I didn't hang around with a lot of guys, and the guys I did know and did have hit on me were nasty. For the most part. At my current college, well, the guys are nice but no hitting-on so far as I know.

Then again, I am dense.

Anyway, my current situation is new. I'd go into more detail, but I've got to go to the Plough soon. More on this later, if an interest is expressed.

Right then. Oh, and there's a post several weeks ago about a funny Flash movie. It's got a flying penis in it; don't watch it at work.

Good enough, Bob?

Blogger tells me I cannot publish my posts, and yet the last one is up.

Go fig.

Pics from the party are up here. Contact me (kjb AT kjbland dot com) for the username and password if you want to see them and you were there. I'm not sure whether I'm going to make them available universally or not. Jennifer is also possessing of the username/pw combo.

As I am tiredtiredtired, I am going to go to bed.

I apologize to anyone who may have been offended by anything. No, Mom, don't worry about this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, The Who shirt is coming to a Plough near you.

Sunday, July 14, 2002
I had a fun weekend.

It involved frosting and unexpected surprises (which I suppose is the definition of a surprise, in that it is unexpected), and was all in all fun, if confusing at times. Sad. But happy! Sad. But happy!

To do:

1. Burn copies of Les Miserables and Shatner's album.

2. Call optometrist, make appointment.

3. Get some fucking sleep.

Anyone out there read Neil Gaiman's American Gods? Duh, it's good, but how does it relate stylewise to Good Omens? I realize that's a collaboration novel, but still.

Good lord, I'm tired. Gee, wonder why.

Saturday, July 13, 2002
And when the hell did the WWF become the WWE? Seems awfully lame to me.

Holy SHIT! I just saw a genius thing on some random movie... Matthew Brodrick.. must be that space war game movie.


The dad buttered his corn-on-the-cob by spreading butter on a slice of white bread, then wrapping it around the corn and rolling.

Fucking GENIUS.

That little Zoloft pebble-oval thing is just so cute. When it's sad, I feel sad for it. When it smiles, I am happy.

I want some cookies.

I had a pretty post about how cute HiMonkey is.

But it got eaten by the inter-net.

Or blogger. I can't tell. Maybe it was xolox.

either way, go to and be happy.

Friday, July 12, 2002
How come Geordi never got any consistent tail? The poor guy, he's cute, he looks good in sweaters, he's all sweet and everything, but does he get lucky? No.

That's jacked, my friend. Jacked.

I am told the raspberry chiffon cake Mom got from the store was moldy.

This is ever-so comforting, as I ate a big ole piece just now.

From Fametracker :: Galaxy of Fame :: Special All-Memorial Edition:

Pluto - 1903-????
"Hi, I'm still Bob Hope. At this point, I don't have all that much to live for other than to screw over those of you disrespectful pukes who keep picking me in your Dead Pools. Suckers! I'm going to live forever!"


Thursday, July 11, 2002
Oh, did I forget to mention? My MOM reads this. I found this out today.

Say hi, Mom!

I cannot emphasize enough how much this makes me laugh, and makes the day seem that much brighter.

Wha?, huh?, and mer?.

OH! I totally forgot. But I have remembered.

Last night, after the movie and Coquelet, we went to Becketts. Jocilyn (sp?) had her first technical drink, a Buttery Nipple. Good call, I must say. Everyone had a good time.

Except for ShitBand.

They could have been decent. The lead female (?) singer was fairly good, and the instrumentals were ok. But some ASSWIPE turned the second mike up, and so the male (?) who was doing the harmony was up so loud I COULD NOT THINK. Were I someone else, I would've gone up in front, and turned the damn thing off.

Then, they come around and ask for money. Support live music, they say.

I'd love to, if it DIDN'T SUCK.

And they covered The Who. Fuckheads.

If they'd only just gone away. Then, we might've stayed. But noooooooooooooooooo.

ShitBand sucks. If anyone knows who played Beckett's in Berkeley on Wednesday night, let me know, so I may get in touch with them and tell them to get some humility and a new sound tech.

I heard from a guy at the bar that one of them was a transsexual.

Nothing wrong with transsexuals.


THIS is GENIUS, courtesy of RavenBlack. Good lord.

It is the perfect rebuttal to any argument containing a typo, apparently. Yay!

You know how people always make Director's Cuts of things? Here's how I'd solve that.

I'd edit it myself.

That way, no dicking around with editing. Of course, the studio could bitch, but they're assholes anyway.

MIB II: Decent. Not quite worth the $9, but the company was, as was seeing a friend on screen. Go Gabe!

Wednesday, July 10, 2002
So, yeah, my hosting service fixed the problem that they thought they fixed before.

Silly people.

Oh, and I just remembered - I had this MAJOR epiphany in the shower yesterday, but I've forgotten it.

I hate it when that happens.

Well, my Topato Potato model did not place, but still, I entered. Yay me.

Hostess Cupcakes are a taste sensation. Get yourself some before they run away. Quick! Run like the wind!

I saw a picture of my first boyfriend, and for once, it wasn't a giant cringefest. Yes, I still wish him nasty things for being such a complete and utter asswipe, but that's ok. His bad.

Which reminds me - why are so many cute guys total jerkoffs?

Oh, hey. The dude who was the most vocal Gnutella guy, Gene Kim I think (go me)(not), he died in an apparent suicide. What I want to know is, what the hell pushed him to it? From what I've read, he was doing just fine. Danger, Will Robinson, danger!

Oh, and I went from being the youngest of the legal drinkers in a group, to the only legal drinker in the group. That was fun (although no alcohol was involved). Everyone kept talking about people I'd never heard of, and it got odd. Especially with the people I didn't know.

But it was good, because it was fucking BOILING out, and so a couple of us stood in the path of the sprinklers (this was at the park).

I leave you with this thought:

There comes a time in every man's life when he has to look the potato of injustice right in the eye.

- Stanley, UHF

Tuesday, July 09, 2002

The recent Weezer video to "Keep Fishin" is GREAT. It has The Muppets.

There's no way for that to be a shitty video. Come on. Weezer + Muppets = GREAT.

Time for sleep.

Let me tell you a lil' story 'bout a man named...


Wrong thought.

I picked up my dress today from Campus Ministry (Melanie had left it there at the end of the school year, after she wore it to her graduation. I also tried to pick up different dresses from the cleaners, but the sign said that they were out on their yearly vacation from the 8th-16th or something. D'oh.

It was the 8th when I tried to pick them up. I say this in case you were wondering.

I rarely wear makeup. Part of this has to do with the ephemeral nature of the stuff - you get the least bit hot, and it dies, no matter how "sweatproof" they claim it is.

Also, I am lazy.

However, I get bored, and sometimes when this happens I play around with the stuff. Sometimes it turns out well, others... not so well.

On this note, I'm going to put this piece of advice out there - don't make smart-ass black-eye comments. No matter how tempting. One, you might be wrong and overreacting to a simple change in appearance, and Two, you might just piss the object of your comment off and lower her self-esteem in the process.

Oh, and you might get smacked upside the head or punched in the gut.

::grumble:: See if I get gussied up again.

On a positive note, I got to dance with John the Teacher, which was fun, and Jeff said I was a good dancer as well. Yay me!

Ne pas, ne rien, ne personne, ne jamais. Oui.

Monday, July 08, 2002
I am told that one of their servers died.

Stupid servers.

THE CULT CONSTRUCTION SET - speaks for itself.

The hosting for my site is not working, for some reason, so the likelihood of you reading this when it was posted is unlikely. Still, I shall post!

I'm going to add more quiz results soonish, as I take lots of them and I feel like telling all of you about them.

This Flash animation is also very silly. Truly, computer geeks are on drugs.

Saturday, July 06, 2002
I am watching eXistenZ (1999) right now, and it has made me realize this:

Jude Law could brush his teeth and it'd be sexy.

This movie is a mind fuck, by the way, and is quite possibly better than The Matrix.

Fuck, it's got Ian Holm. The Matrix didn't have Ian Holm.

Thursday, July 04, 2002
Al Franken Class Day 2002 Address - GENIUS

Crossgen Comics On the Web are fun, if eventually involving forking over money. I dunno, I might get suckered in.

I finished the DS9 Avatar series. I'm going to have to make a list of characters, find out their info, and post it online, as I'm incredibly confused - some of the characters clearly have relationships to each other that are not explained in Avatar. It is sad.

"Men at Work" is a fine movie. Fucking superb.

"Golf clap?"

"Golf clap."


Old men can still rock.

And yes, Roger Daltrey's still hot, even if he does wear shoes with lifts because he is a troll.

I plan on making a tshirt about that. Excellent.

Apparently, Vanilla Coke + Vanilla Stoli = good.

Oh, and The Counting Hootie and the Crowfish crap openers were fairly inoffensive, although their songs all sound alike, and they suck.

I have more saline now. Not much, but it is good. I also have a Who tank top (thank you, Geoff), which does not glow in the dark but is pink and more than likely tight.

I have been online for 22 hours and 32 minutes.

Wednesday, July 03, 2002
Lilo & Stitch was fun enough. Genius casting for the voices, by the way, although I could've done without the A*Teen's rendition of "Can't Help Falling in Love".

For those of you who don't watch Nickelodeon or Disney Channel, A*Teens are like the 12 year old cousins of Britney and Christina, only they are truly jailbait and have no talent. They also murdered a good song.

Time for sleeeeeeeeeep

And yes, I have every intention of going to The Who concert with you, Geoff. Whatever made you think otherwise?

Tuesday, July 02, 2002
And godDAMMIT, but I am all out of saline. Bye-bye, apparatusless vision.

Before I take my shower, I would like to expound on something that came up in the comments.

Bless you all for commenting, by the way.

Dial-up is in a losing battle with those designers who wish to put large flash animations on every single page of their site. I cannot deny this; these sites are often fairly pretty once the 56K has eaten enough of them to load.

However, dial-up can be an expensive proposition, both financially and mentally.

Mentally, you say? Yes.

We here at the KJB Stronghold™ are stuck with an overseer who does not like the Inter-net, and sees it as something akin to The Devil's Playground™ (ok, so not that negative an opinion, but still, apparently all of you out there are not real people, so to speak, and thus being interested in what you have to say is baaaaaad).

Also, the wiring in this house is shit-tay, and who knows what kind of contortions the DSL dude would have to do to get the damn cable anywhere near. I don't know. Suffice to say, an around-the-clock connection can often have craptacular consequences.

Consequences, you shout? Yes.

I can't remember any of them right now, but I swear, they're there.

Shit, that was a weak argument.

Yes, I know DSL or any other type of broadband connection is a godsend - hell, I lived in dorms for two years, the joys of a shared T1 are not unknown to me. Not a day goes by that I do not remember the sheer joy of downloading pretty things in moments; when downloading 20 songs from a friend in Berkeley's newest dorms took a couple of minutes, I sat in awe and then did a jigdance to celebrate the wonders of technology.

Anyway, I have a dial-up that works for me, that does not disconnect me, and that loves me like a fresh, warm towel.

Now, off to the shower. Pray that it does not spew boiling water.


I ate nearly a whole baguette myself. It was tasty, esp. with the Alouette garlic et herb spread on it. Mmmmm.

For those of you who are interested, it turns out Jon-who-is-me had computer troubles stemming from Neverwinter Nights, and that is why he was gone, causing me to have heart attacks.

Yes, I will be killing him.

I've got Dirty Vegas' "Days Go By" stuck in my head. I'd dance like they do in the video/ad, but I can't do that well, and that'd be the one time when someone'd come in or something, and start laughing, and we wouldn't like that, no sir.

Monday, July 01, 2002
Tim Curry is an amusing man, and I cannot call him annoying. No one can call him an artistic slob, that's for damn sure.

I've spent FAR too much time at my sister's. Agh.

Being woken up because Denise let Ashley out, then for some other godawful reason, and then no cold water for the shower, that just didn't make my day.

Tom Wilkinson is the poor man's David Warner.

My updating for this thing hasn't been too often, but what can you do? Nothing, that's what. haHA!