function commentCount($n) { $comments_path = "http://www.kjbland.com/blog/comments/"; if($file = @fopen($comments_path . "comments/$n.comment", 'r')) { $thisFile = fread($file, '1000000'); $thisFile = explode("\n", trim($thisFile)); fclose($file); $comments = sizeof($thisFile); if($comments == 1) {$comments .= " comment";} else {$comments .= " comments";} } else { $comments = "0 comments"; } return $comments; } ?>
Mental Poop |
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Easily updatable crrrrrap Help me get a corset!
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Friday, June 27, 2003
ROCK. This new Blogger system is nice, as it seems to have fixed up my archiving - instead of weekly (for a while) and then monthly, it has switched to all monthly. And my dog is whining at me. I think she wants to lick my lunch plate. Thursday, June 26, 2003
Well, it looks like Criminy Pete won't be crying for a week. Frankly, after the bad review a friend of mine gave it, I was prepared to offer condolences. Then again, I wasn't expecting CP to cry; I figure it'd need to be a truly shitty movie for him to hate it. Tuesday, June 24, 2003
When you were a kid, did you watch a lot of silly cartoons? If so, check out this list. Golly, there's a lot of silly stuff on there, and that's not including the "Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills". I'm not kidding, either. Dude, Punkin Chunkin on the Discovery Channel is fucking GREAT. People shooting pumpkins through airguns, trebuchets, centrifuges, and more, for distance. Some of these suckers went 3/4 of a mile. Think about that. They won't let planes fly over when this competition is on. Friday, June 20, 2003
Thursday, June 19, 2003
Wednesday, June 18, 2003
Dude, The Animatrix is TRIPPY. Good lord. When I say trippy, I mean mostly "Matriculated", as it was hella trippy. I've used trippy 4 times now, including the most recent one. The work on "Osiris", though, was fabulous - the modelling was much better with this than with Final Fantasy (same company) (neither final nor a fantasy, discuss). They both peeked. And yes, that was Keanu Reeves in the "Boy" story. There was some question about it, and yeah, I'm thinking he just isn't so great at voiceover work. Friday, June 13, 2003
How cool is Jiffy Lube? So cool, they vacuum your car. Oh. My. God. Also, a word to the wise: don't wait forever to change your oil, or it'll get all chunky in the engine and the mechanics will get all grossed-out. Thursday, June 12, 2003
Tuesday, June 10, 2003
I am told that German kids are now pouring concrete into toilet paper tubes, letting them dry, and firing these suckers from their potato guns. I think we can learn from the Germans; remember the rockets. And I am sad, for CriminyPete, my favoritest movie reviewer, did not like The Matrix Reloaded. Oh well, he didn't like the first one, more for me. MAGIC is happening on the Wigu board. I suggest you boot up your copy of Winamp or Windows Media Player or indie music player of choice, and download some choice sound clips. In essence, it's a bunch of people who want to sound like characters from Wigu. It's much, MUCH better than it sounds when I write it here. Seriously. Listen. It won't take long, even on dialup. Thursday, June 05, 2003
Joe Pantoliano is perhaps one of the finest actors around these days. If you don't believe me, compare his performances in various films and shows - The Matrix, U.S. Marshalls, Highlander: The Series, Law&Order, Memento, and Risky Business, just to name a few. The man is EXCELLENT. This does not mean that he does not remind me of rodents. Tuesday, June 03, 2003
I'm not sure if you've read this already, but DAMN, I almost pity a guy with a schlong that long. Get it? Schlong that long? HAHAHA! I'd love some kind of ice cream novelty, but my tummy's feeling weird. I blame it on TV dinners. Ugh. Monday, June 02, 2003
My computer died. Thank goodness for Will's laptop, or I wouldn't be writing here. It will be fixed, however. This is good. Moral of story? Don't buy a cheap motherboard and put a hot-running AMD on it. OMG the middle Hanson got married. What the- And they've got a kid 4mo later? GAGH A HANSON HAD SEX Yes, I'm aware that they are most likely fully functional males, but still. Eeew. I am sorry if you are one of the Hanson brothers and you read this. It's just that your public persona was so non-threatening and not at all sexual. Sorry. You make very fun music. |